What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
