I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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