Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
