What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
