There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
