If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
