dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
