i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize