On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
