it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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