we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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