So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sext me about skeletons
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
