Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
