she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize