Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
