Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
