Farmville is her only friend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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