last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
