She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
