My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
