Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
