How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
