I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
