Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
