Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize