God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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