I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
bring money and cleavage
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
