just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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