Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
