turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
