i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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