Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
