I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
