What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
