I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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