I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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