Screwed.edu
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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