please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
