Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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