Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
