Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
