Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize