So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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