Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
