i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
