Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
