just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
