tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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