when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i think my cat just said my name.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
