you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize