i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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