OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize