We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
