I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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