Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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