I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
