no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
