I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
