smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
