Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
