Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
