She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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