how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
