I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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