Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
