Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
