Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
They are going to name an STD after you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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