So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
