Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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