I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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