He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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