Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I bet he comes in French.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
