No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
