frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i now understand why vodka
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
