I got chris browned last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
