I'm eating all of the evidence.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
