he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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