Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
