why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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